the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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