I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
