Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
home. puking in laundry basket.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
