If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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