I got her a Nickelback box set.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
