1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
