He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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