did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
