Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
