I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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