if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
