I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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