No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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