the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
