I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
