Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i think i just lost a toe
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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