I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
