Ambien. No doubt about it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
