i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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