I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize