i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
