You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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