Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
