im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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