Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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