she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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