just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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