a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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