last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
operation have a gay friend backfired
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
