Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
