Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
