To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
