and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
