I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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