Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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