he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize