You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Drunk is a universal language darling
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