I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The uberlube is also flammable
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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