I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
