she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
