I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
