therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
