Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
