Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
