I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize