god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
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