I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
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