bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I am naked and annoyed.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
