don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
