last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Can I color on your dick again?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
