Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
