Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
