I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
