Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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