just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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