come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
