Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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