I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
