yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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