If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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