Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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