Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
