idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
