we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
