Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
