so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
